Wearing the Bring out the Shrimp t-shirt doesn’t mean you’re into hardcore bondage with a variety of marine creatures hidden away at the back of your garage. But it’s not exactly denying it either.

What’s important is that you don’t shout such news from the rooftops. Just from your chest, with a little misdirection thrown in for good measure.

Some might think you’re genuinely into decapod crustaceans. Some may think there are no depths to your depravity and want to get Medieval on yo’ ass. Some may summon up the courage to ask. Either way, you’re going to get noticed.