Forget all that kids stuff. For you a ‘woody’ comes with multiple settings and charges direct from the mains. And when it comes time to call for ‘buzz’, you’re not thinking space rangers but rather that type of massage that really hits the spot.
You also know where Mr Potato Head really needs to get shoved, and the bondage potential of Slinky Dog. Equally, you’re the kind of animal that has a different meaning for ‘Stinky Pete’, ‘Wheezy’, and ‘Mr Pricklepants’.
But keep your filth for the home movies. They may not make it to the silver screen, and to be honest that’s probably a good thing, but they’re real and full of outrageous escapades. Ideal for a daring Sex Toy Story t-shirt.