If you’ve indulged in the supreme act of apostasy and rejected all over faiths once confessed, then why not get the accompanying Golden Calf t-shirt?

Genius idea. Think how people will laugh when you give your allegiance to the Egyptian bull god Apis. How they’ll be even more delighted when you explain an equal connection to the Canaanite fertility god Baal. How they’ll laugh till they puke…

It’s also the perfect tee for showing that you’re simply too impatient for traditional religions. That even splitting the Red Sea is not enough to keep your eyes from a smartphone screen. You’re the instant gratification generation – go be proud!